Therapy for Infertility: Emotional Support During Fertility Treatments, IVF, and Beyond

Written By Amber Penn

Another month has passed, and still no positive test. Or maybe you did see those two pink lines…..only to face the heartbreak of a pregnancy that didn’t last. The endless waiting, testing, medicated cycles, procedures, and dashed hopes can feel like a full-time job that takes a toll on your body, your relationships, and your mental health.

Struggling with infertility and fertility treatments like IVF, IUI, or egg donation can be one of the most emotionally difficult experiences of a person's life. The emotional toll often includes cycles of hope and disappointment, stress, grief, relationship strain, and uncertainty about the future.

If you’re in the thick of it - researching fertility options, undergoing treatment, or grieving yet another loss - please know this: I see you. I get it. The experience of infertility and fertility treatment is often invisible to others, yet for the person experiencing it, it can be all consuming. And while no one can take away the pain or uncertainty of this journey, support is available and it can make a difference.

Therapy for infertility can help you navigate the emotional challenges that often accompany fertility treatments such as IVF, IUI, and third-party reproduction. It can offer a safe, compassionate space to navigate the emotional highs and lows, reconnect with yourself and your partner, and feel less alone. Whether you’re at the beginning of your journey or somewhere in the middle, you deserve care - for your mental health, too.

The Emotional Impact of Infertility

Infertility affects approximately 1 in 8 couples in the United States, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). There are many different conditions that can contribute to infertility, but in general, approximately one-third (30-35%) of cases are due to female factors, one-third (30-35%) of cases are due to male factors, and one-third (20-30%) of cases are due to combined factors or unexplained causes. While these statistics can inform decision-making on a medical treatment level, they don’t adequately capture the emotional weight that can come with each passing month of trying to conceive.

Common emotional responses to difficulties trying to conceive include:

  • Anxiety and depression

  • Guilt, shame, or a sense of failure

  • Strained communication with a partner

  • Social withdrawal or isolation

  • Grief over losses (including pregnancy loss or failed cycles)

  • Feelings of being “left behind” among friends or family

Research shows that women experiencing infertility have similar levels of psychological distress as those facing medical illnesses such as cancer or heart disease. However, research has also consistently shown that less than half of them seek out mental healthcare.

In my personal and professional experience, there are often many reasons for this. Fertility patients often feel burnt out by the amount of medical appointments they are already attending, not to mention the financial and time commitments that come with fertility treatment. Additionally, many people are not aware that reproductive psychologists and fertility counselors exist, and they don’t think that therapy will be helpful anyways. After all, therapy unfortunately doesn’t improve fertility, but it can help make the process more emotionally manageable.

How Therapy Supports Infertility and Fertility Treatment

Therapy provides a space to process emotions, develop coping strategies, and feel seen and supported. Whether you’re preparing for IVF, coping with miscarriage, or exploring third-party reproduction, therapy can help you manage the intense emotions and complex decisions that often arise.

1. Managing Anxiety and Uncertainty

Fertility treatments often involve long waits, complex medical decisions, and unpredictable outcomes. Therapy can help you:

  • Navigate uncertainty with mindfulness and acceptance-based strategies

  • Develop healthy coping tools to manage anxiety and intrusive thoughts

  • Build emotional resilience for each step of the journey

2. Strengthening Relationships

The stress of fertility treatments can strain even the strongest partnerships. Therapy provides:

  • A neutral space for partners to explore communication challenges

  • Tools for emotional support and mutual understanding

  • Guidance on navigating sensitive decisions like donor conception or embryo storage

3. Processing Grief and Loss

Whether you've experienced a miscarriage, failed embryo transfer, or the cumulative grief of unsuccessful cycles, therapy supports you in:

4. Supporting Decision-Making

If you’re considering egg donation, surrogacy, or ending treatment, therapy can help you:

  • Clarify your values

  • Weigh ethical or family-building options

  • Make informed, empowered decisions aligned with your goals

Therapists trained in reproductive mental health can also guide you through third-party reproduction evaluations and emotional preparation for family-building transitions.

Therapy for Infertility: Why Mental Health Support Matters

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. Many people find that therapy:

  • Reduces emotional burnout during treatment

  • Increases their sense of control

  • Improves quality of life and decision-making

  • Provides space to process feelings you may not share with others

As the ASRM’s Mental Health Guidelines recommend, psychological care should be an integral part of fertility treatment, not just an afterthought.

Fertility Counseling That Supports Your Mental Health

If you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally exhausted as you navigate infertility or fertility treatment, you are not alone and support is available.

As a reproductive psychologist, I provide virtual therapy in 42+ states via PSYPACT authorization for all stages of the fertility process, from initial diagnosis to complex decision-making and family-building after loss.

Whether you’re considering IVF, grieving a miscarriage, or exploring third-party reproduction, let’s work together to support your emotional well-being.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation
Learn more about therapy for infertility and loss

Not in a PSYPACT-participating state? You can use the ASRM Mental Health Provider Directory to find a fertility therapist near you.

Frequently Asked Questions About Infertility Therapy

What kind of therapy helps with infertility?
Therapies like CBT, ACT, and EMDR can help manage stress, grief, anxiety, and trauma related to infertility.

Does therapy improve fertility success rates?
Therapy won’t change your medical outcomes, but it can improve emotional resilience, reduce distress, and help with decision-making throughout your journey.

When should I start therapy during fertility treatment?
At any point - whether you’re preparing to start treatment, coping with loss, or making big decisions. Early support can help prevent emotional burnout.

Amber Penn